Life in the Sun
by MorganBlue77
Summary: Starts in New Moon, what if Edward had heard Bella in the background when he called to see if she was alive? Follows storyline of book. BellaxJacob
1. Chapter 1

Jake's hand grazed my neck before resting on my cheek and the inevitable conflict rose again. I had no time left to decide. I wasn't a fool; I knew rejecting Jacob now would have consequences. Consequences like him leaving me.

Alice was back, for now, but even if Edward returned it wouldn't change his feelings for me. That life was lost to me, but I had this chance to salvage my scraps of happiness. Jake would help me; he'd be there illuminating me with his comforting presence. I could never love him to the extent I was capable of loving, but maybe the faint shadow of love I could give would be enough to make us both happy. I could make my claim. Make him mine. Chose to try to be happy in a different path than the one I was on. After all, my old path had led to an end that nearly consumed me. Maybe Jake would stay true to his promise and never hurt me. Could I learn to love what was good for me? Should I?

Jake's palm was so warm, it was instinctual to lean toward the heat, unlike the cold I was used to. His touch felt nice and I thought this might be as easy as holding his hand. Maybe I'd even like it. When I raised my eyes to his, I saw the determination in his face and I was still utterly undecided.

His other hand trembled as it rested lightly on my waist, and my body responded with butterflies that worked their way up my throat and made my lips quiver. Independent of my mind, my hands lightly touched his sides, timid and unsure. In a raspy exhale, his breath caressed my face and a barely audible, heart breaking "please," escaped him.

Our faces were so close now, noses touching, my tears on his cheek…

The shrill ring of the phone made us both jump, but it did not break his focus. He took his hand from my waist and reached over to grab the receiver, but still held my face with his hand securely on my cheek. Those eyes did not free mine.

"Swan residence," Jacob said, his voice low and intense, betraying every ounce of emotion.

All I could here was the crackling of the connection. My mind was immediately overwhelmed with worry of Charlie, maybe he needed me. He was upset, he could've gotten in a car wreck, something happened at the station…

"Who is it?" I asked Jake in a worried whisper.

He shrugged in response and half-heartedly asked "Hello?" into the dead air. A few infinite seconds passed before he _hung the phone_ with obvious relief.

The curtain on the kitchen window fluttered faintly over my head and an icy breeze touched the back of my neck. Jacob tensed under my hands, taut as a string wound tight on a bow. His top lip curved up and a soft, low growl escaped him. I wasn't sure if it was annoyance at the interruption of something much, much worse.

"Victoria." He spat the name, the veins in his neck bulging and his body was shaking. He brought his eyes down to mine with a wistful and protective look,

"Wait here," he commanded and his expression told me this was not optional.

His hand left my cheek, leaving it unnaturally cool and exposed. My hands fell from his sides as he pivoted and sprinted out the door. My eyes did not leave his back as his form shivered and I looked onto the haunches of a russet brown wolf I needed to return safely. His life was intertwined with mine, I didn't know how to live without him. He had to return safely.


	2. Chapter 2

Edward POV:

There was no expression for this type of agony. One cannot be numbed from it, only accept it's crushing influence and drown hopelessly and pointlessly. Dread coursed through him like the blood long absent from his body. The despair was everywhere he looked. Love, life, meaning, gone.

The phone was cracking from the pressure he was exerting with his shaking hands. He had no control over himself and in a remote part of his mind, he realized this moment was defnitive and this pain would never leave him until it drove him to insanity.

The phone ring suspended time, every infinite second spent praying she was alive. Every fiber of his being craving her existence somewhere on this Earth.

"Swan residence," Jacob Black answered the phone, a voice Edward would never forget because of the wishes it had voiced in Jacob's mind every moment he was around Bella. The reality struck of Black answering the phone at Bella's house. Edward thought he was beyond the ability to be shocked, but he was slightly taken aback. The monster of jealousy crept through his chest. The pain delayed his response and faintly in the background Edward heard a voice he thought he would never hear again. Bella's worried, "Who is it?" was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

Immediately his agony lifted enough for him to breath and he became resigned to the bittersweet joy that she was alive, but not with him. It took his remaining control to not call her name, to not hear her voice again and again. But he had promised her, and he loved her enough to try to keep that promise. With a painful effort he hung up the phone and resorted back to his usual torment.


	3. Chapter 3

Alice's golden eyes peered through the window from the forest far behind the house, every image and word as crisp as if she were in the room. Jacob was cradling Bella's face lovingly and Bella did not deny him.

Her emotions were conflicted. She saw the deep pain that ran through Bella at Edwards leaving, so how could she do this? But she also saw the minute happiness Jacob brought her and who was she to deny her that? She had told Edward what a stupid idea this was!

But Alice had not told Bella or Edward that her vision had not changed of them. She had a reoccurring vision when she looked into their future of Bella, beautiful and pale with golden eyes with Edward, both of them with wedding bands on their finger. She could feel love between them, even into the future.

Alice couldn't deny what she was seeing now. Bella's face was set with some kind of determination and the tangible connection between her and Jacob grew more intense as their lips almost met.

Alice did not need to see more of the present and turned to the future to lead her. She searched for Bella but could find almost nothing but blurs of barely discernible colors around her. She had chosen, for the moment, to be with Jacob. A life Alice did not fit into.

She searched vainly for Bella and Edward but she found nothing and she was upset that Bella, whom she though of as her sister, would no longer be a part of her life. Before Alice pulled herself to the present, a glimpse of Edward's future came to her mind. Still full of pain and disorientation, he had decided to go to Alaska to see his family and she could feel that he needed her. Without another look at the sister she was losing, Alice ran north to help her brother.

Victoria hissed with frustration as she saw the Cullen leave in the direction of the rest of her clan. She was no doubt rallying them to come help their precious little _pet_. Victoria would not have another chance to kill Bella, she had to act definitively and she had to act now. The odds were not perfect and her uncanny survival instinct was pulling her away from the situation. But the passion to kill Bella was the only drive she felt in life anymore and she needed it more than anything. She _had_ to avenge James' death.

She started stalking toward the house from the middle of the dense and foreboding forest as a strong, wintry breeze blew from behind her, urging her on.


	4. Chapter 4

Jacob ripped into his wolf body and instantly his mind was flooded with thoughts of four others. The pack snorted indignantly with the overwhelming human emotion that was distracting them from their immediate task that would require their full attention.

_Focus. _The alpha demanded.

Jacob allowed the chocolate brown eyes to escape his mind as he honed into the painful scent invading his nose. He had to find her and kill her. It was his duty, it was what he was made to do for his tribe, for Bel… _focus._

They ran on the scent's heels until the flame of red hair was visible.

Faster. Faster.

She was running into the reservation, onto their home territory, this was the opportunity if ever there was one to protect the tribe, to kill the cold one.

_Paul. Jacob. Go through the ravine to cut her off. We need to circle her._

The grey wolf dug his claws forcefully into the ground and launched into a dizzying sprint. The russet wolf followed immediately, paws so quick and light on the ground they made no discernible rhythm. Their necks were strained forward and their muscles rippled as they ran on the sloped ground into the ravine.

The ground in the ravine was more precarious, water from the never ending rain gathered deep in some places and boulders were mines on the ground. The wolves could not lose their footing. Their predatory eyes glowed green in the darkness, following the ground with perfect precision.

The black wolf led the remaining wolves straight on, never losing sight of the deadly flame.

Faster. Faster.

_Almost there. _The grey wolf showed the alpha the upward slope at the end of ravine.

_We are close._

The russet and grey wolf emerged into the night air and circled backward. Vicious snapping and wild gnashing of teeth echoed across the plain as piercing red eyes appeared in their line of sight, blood thirsty and caged. The vampire's mouth dropped in despair as she whipped around, trying to not put her back to any monster. In her thoughtless haste she had run into a situation she instinctively knew there'd be no escaping.

The wolves descended in a circular formation, coming at her from every angle. The black wolf lunged and sunk his yellow teeth into her chalk white skin. Her hands clasped both sides of the wolf's jaw and swung it by its mouth far into the woods behind her. The pack flinched at the alpha's pain.

Following the fleeting distraction, the russet wolf had sank its teeth into the flank of her marble leg. They locked eyes for the briefest of moments. Her beautiful face marred by deep punctures from forehead to jaw that were so deep, they were purple holes. She hissed in vengeance out of her small perfect mouth and rotated her leg just enough to force it deeply into the wolf's side and project the wolf and her leg into the air with horrifying blunt force. Several cracking noises filled the air and the russet wolf's chest collapsed strangely when it hit the ground, as if it had no ribs to hold his frame.

This commotion was all the other wolves needed, the chocolate brown wolf spat a whole white arm behind him. The silver wolf had the monster's side in his mouth, hindering her lightning quick movements.

The black wolf bounded in, lunged through the air, and in a swift motion snapped his jaw around the thin creature's neck and her fire-topped head fell and rolled on the ground, lips still grimacing.

The white body parts twitched as they tried to reassemble themselves. The wolves went at the living carcass with disregard for any humanity. They gathered the tiny white shreds in a makeshift fire pit.

_Go get a car for Jake _the alpha ordered the tan wolf, who ran off back through the dark forest, into the heart of La Push.

Paul, Jared, Quil and Sam phased back into human form and the russet wolf whined, uncomfortable with the sudden silence of his head.

Sam walked over and to kneel beside the wolf as the others started a massive fire that burned with thick purple smoke.

"You're going to be ok Jake. Don't change yet; you need to try to heal as much as possible this way. Embry's coming with a car, you'll be ok."

The fire roared into an angry column and fog consumed the nature around it. The smell was sweet and icy, as if the fire itself might not even be hot but cool with vengeance.

The exhaust smoke mingled with the haze as a truck pulled up next to the flame. When the wolf saw the truck, the russet fur disintegrated and skin appeared unwillingly. The agony of pain on Jacob's face was harder to see when he was human. Quil and Jared lifted him as gently as possible, but still sent shocks of pain that pierced his marred chest.

They shook their heads in empathy as they situated him in the back seat, surrounding him in blankets so he would be jostled as little as possible. When he was settled Sam got into the passenger seat as the other three hopped in the bed of the truck.

The few miles to the Black's residence was slow and silent. There was no bravado over finally killing their ever elusive prey in light of their brother's sacrifice. Every face turned to Jacob's when they hit a bump on the road and cringed in time with his grimace of pain. Jacob's forehead was smooth though, not wrinkled, and his moans were not upsetting, only involuntary reactions. His eyelids fluttered loosely, finding peace somewhere apart from a body with several broken ribs.

When they pulled into the driveway of Jacob's house the lights were still out. Billy and Charlie were probably staying the night with Sue Clearwater and her children in light of the tragedy.

Jake's chest was already starting to take on a normal shape as his genes healed him more quickly than an average human. Quil and Embry were still extremely careful when they pulled him out of the car.

Sam, Paul and Jared looked at Jacob with familial warmth and assured him that they'd check on him tomorrow. Sam nodded at Quil and Embry sternly, trusting them with Jacob's well being.

They hoisted Jacob by his large arms and helped him shuffle into his room at the front of the house. Embry held him up as Quil helped him put on shorts before he collapsed on the bed.

"You can go now guys," Jake said. "Really I'm fine now, I just need some rest" he continued drowsily.

"Yeah, we know why you're fine." Quil smiled knowingly, breaking the unbearable tension of the night.

"Yeah, yeah, just leave before I have to hurt either of you." Jacob said sarcastically, with a faint smile on his lips. "Wait, actually can you hand me the phone?"

"Why? Do you need to call your girlfriend?" Embry teased, while handing over the phone.

Jacob laughter to that had a strange edge. "Seriously, go home."

"Alright!" Quil conceded, we'll see you tomorrow. They made exaggerated kissing noises and Jacob heard the front door slam shut. He shook his head with a faint smile and dialed a familiar number.


	5. Chapter 5

Every tick of the second hand ached like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. Time was passing unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, in manic worry and resigned despair. It was passing so slowly. Every tick of the second hand echoed in my mind for eternity before the next one sounded. It was unbearable.

Hours had passed since that pivotal moment and the tension was still bottled inside me. My worry for Jake was consuming, putting a completely new hole in my chest. I was bent over; knuckles bone white as my hands clenched the edge of the sink mercilessly.

My carefully trained mind evaded the "what if's" that were haunting me.

Pacing and pacing between the doorway and window in the kitchen. Gaze darting to the door, the window, the phone, and back again. I was pacing to stay alive. If I stood still I'd have to think and that was something I could not afford to do. If I thought, I'd lose the little composure I had left.

And where was Alice? She'd said….

The jarring sound of the phone wound my anxiety even tighter.

"Hello?" I answered breathlessly, desperate for good news.

"Hey Bells." Jacob's voice responded, slightly distorted.

"Jake! Are you ok?! What happened?" I questioned relentlessly.

"I'm fine, just kinda beat up. We killed the red head. I'm home."

"I'm coming over." I replied already turning to the door.

"You don't have to…." I heard Jake say feebly as I was hanging up the phone.

I was never bothered with my car's speed, until now. The engine of my truck complained loudly at I pushed 60 mph down the slick highway. I wish I could run as fast as a wolf or a…

The familiar road was taunting me, stretching on until I swore it would never end. I exhaled in relief when I saw the first houses of the reservation. My breath caught in my chest as I turned onto Jake's street and saw the tiny house. I skidded to a stop and jumped out of my truck, leaving my keys and composure in the car_._

I ran as fast as my clumsy feet would allow and swung open the front door, only slowing to a walk as I approached Jake's room. I placed my hand on the door frame and peered inside.

Jake was there, on top of his sheets, dressed only in cut off jean shorts even though it was February in Washington. He looked so…. strangely fragile for his size. His face was pale and I gasped in horror when I saw the blue and yellow bruises covering his entire chest. His pain was sending off sparks of my own.

He managed a small smile, "It's only a few ribs, Bella. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," I couldn't resist the urge to comfort him. I crossed the small room and hesitated near the side of his bed, unsure what to do.

He shifted his weight, swinging his legs off the bed as if trying to stand.

"What are you doing?" I demanded, near tears.

I lightly pushed his arm down with two hands. He surrendered, leaning back with a gasp of pain, but he grabbed me around my waist and pulled me down on the bed against his side. I leaned in to touch my forehead against his cheek.

Jacob sighed and put his hand in my hair, holding me there.

I couldn't imagine my life with out Jacob, the possibility of losing him had made me realize that he had become essential to my survival. I knew we were no longer going to be just friends, but I'd have to tell him everything. I knew that. I'd have to explain that I was not a car, I was irreparably damaged and no amount of hard work and skill would fix me. I was broken. I'd even have to admit I was crazy-explain about the voices. He needed to know everything before he made a decision.

But, even as I recognized the necessity, I knew he would take me in spite of it all. He wouldn't even pause to think about it.

Jake looked down to face me. Like so may other times, he seemed to be in tune with my thoughts.

If I turned my face to the side- if I pressed my lips against his neck… I knew without any doubt what would follow. It would be very easy. There would be no need for explanations tonight.

Could I do it?

Nerves assaulted my stomach as I thought about turning my head, but I didn't want to hurt Jacob or myself any longer. With that thought, I turned and placed my lips softly onto his tan skin.

His breath staggered unevenly. His hands were soft on my face as he turned my chin to look at him. His eyes locked on mine, soothing my nerves as I remembered this was my Jacob, I had nothing to be afraid of. When he leaned in, his lips were gentle, unexpectedly hesitant on mine. I didn't resist, my relief overshadowed all rationality and I found myself kissing him back.

The utter defenselessness of his sudden joy cracked any boundaries I had planned to set. My fingers were in his hair and I was pulling him closer. His hand slid from my face down my back warming my skin and bowing my body to his. His lips felt soft on mine and I almost wanted more.

He was everywhere. He was the sunlight, my eyelids were red, and the color fit, matched the heat. The heat was everywhere. I couldn't see or hear or feel anything that wasn't Jacob and I didn't want to.

I remembered when I had once wished Jacob were my brother, my flesh and blood, so I'd have a claim on him, but I had been lying to myself. I was in love with Jacob. It might not be the same love, but this would be as easy as I'd imagined. I would commit whatever was left of me to him, he deserved so much more, but I'd give him everything I had and even though it might not be perfect, It was natural and it would make both of us happy.

When our faces separated, he pulled me into the embrace that kept me whole. I heard his heart slow gradually and his breath became deep and rhythmic, calming me. On the edge of consciousness, I heard him whisper, "I love you," before sleep found me.


	6. Chapter 6

Edward's body was a violent streak across the horizon as he flew over the ground with exceptional, inhuman speed. He wished his lungs and legs would burn so he could feel physical pain that would distract him from his thoughts, but as always his thoughts were merciless. He could never stop some part of his mind from thinking of… _her_. He didn't know who he was anymore or what he wanted, but she was a habit he kept going back to. This pain had consumed him and it was all he knew how to live for. In someway it gave him purpose, something to overcome. It validated him, gave his love and passion validity and shaped him into who he now was.

He let his instinct guide him westward to Alaska. Running through Canada so as not to pass too close to Washington, although his heart pulled him that way. He did not pause to survey his surroundings. He was sure several humans witnessed a streak of white, but could they see it looked human? It really didn't matter anymore. An accidental or forced death would be the easiest way out. Death is easy. Living is much harder.

He was in West Canada when he was startled by a familiar scent. He stopped abruptly and tuned into the thoughts around him for the first time in awhile. The clearest, bell like voice was far off on the flat landscape, coming from a small, pixie like vampire. Alice.

The brief moment of relief he experienced was only a spark of light in a dark night but something nonetheless. She ran toward him and he was suddenly locked in a tight embrace that he was warmed by. It was enough to pull him above water for a moment. Her thoughts were scattered, she was overjoyed to see him but painfully flashing to the future and distractions, hiding something from him.

He was not trying to intrude into her thoughts, but her evasions were screaming at him and he couldn't help but seek out the truth. Of course, a lot of time had passed since he'd seen her, she could be hiding any number of things. He really didn't know what to listen for or where to start so he settled for trying to listen only to the voices outside of his head.

"Edward," Alice started cautiously, "Are you ok? I had a vision, you were upset and heading for Alaska? What happened?"

Those words nearly brought a thought to the front of her mind, but it was blurred so he once again tried to focus.

"I heard."

Alice just waited, her golden eyes hard with concentration.

" About the vision. Bella."

Alice exhaled quickly. _Did Edward know she was ok? Was he headed to check on her? How did he find out?_

Edward answered her unspoken questions, "Rosalie had called about your vision. I called Bella's house and heard her in the background. I know she's ok so I won't go near her."

Talking about Bella finally let one of Alice's confessions slip to the front of her mind. _Should I have gone to visit Bella?_

"YOU WENT TO CHECK ON HER?" Edward roared. The only emotion besides depression he'd felt in months surfaced and the anger was tangible and heavy. A pressure all around him, but Alice's face was unworried. _He's just angry at the situation, not at me. I've done nothing wrong and I told him this would never work but maybe….._

Edward listened to her thoughts and realized he did not need to abuse her. To be honest with himself, he realized it was not so much anger, but jealousy he felt toward Alice for being able to see her, smell her touch her… He probed into Alice's mind for glimpses of her, but he was struck by Alice's segmented thoughts of Bella being happy with,.. Edward's eavesdropping was interrupted by Alice's complicated calculations, in Arabic.

"What are you hiding from me?" Edward's curiosity was overpowering, he was starving for news of Bella.

"It's nothing you need to know." She chimed. "Will you come back with me? To Alaska?" The question was rhetorical as she looked to the future for the answer. After a brief moment, _Carlisle and Esme will be so happy_. _We all want you to come back, we don't want out family separated. I told you…._

Tired of her mental chastising, and hoping to pry information from her mind eventually, he resigned, "Ok, let's go."

Alice took in Edward's haggard and starved appearance, "Maybe we should hunt first," she suggested.

Edward's eyes turned to her and the pain their seemed to say maintaining a quality of life was the least of his priorities. There was absolutely no drive to do anything, but he meekly nodded in agreement.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello everyone. I just wanted to thank you guys for reading and leaving me nice reviews :) I was kind of writing this on a trial basis just to see if I got any feedback, but now that I have I've decided to keep writing. Please continue to leave reviews! I desperately need the encouragement.

This chapter is long and straight up sappy, but don't hate me. I promise there is still an actually plot, it won't be all fluff.

Also, as a few of you have noticed, sometimes I directly rip off from the books and the movies. I am really trying to keep characters in character and stay in a realm of possibility. I do use a more omniscient POV to explain the stories of different charactes. I hope it doesn't seem to disjointed.

I just want to say however, that I do not own anything. Stephanie Meyer created this wonderful world for us. But please review and I love you guys! -Morgan

* * *

I was less disoriented than usual, even though I'd never woken up here before. I was with Jake. I didn't wake up shivering either. His body temperature was a perfect contradiction to the winter seeping in through the walls.

I watched his chest rise and fall and remembered that our relationship was different now. I searched myself for regret, but found none. I think subconsciously I realized this had been a long time in coming. Eventually, I would've found someone in my life, a Mike Newton, as Ed… he, would say. I was lucky it wasn't a Mike Newton, but a Jacob Black, a soul mate of sorts.

I scooted closer to him and put my hand on his healed chest, I'd decided to commit myself to this and honestly, it felt nice to be this close to someone again; closer, in fact, physically than I had even been able to be before.

The tangibility of it all was nice. Jake was right, werewolf or not, he was very human. A human that would be a presence, not a void, in my life.

I watched his eyelids flicker lightly, indecisively, unsure whether or not to wake up. I knew the feeling, afraid to shatter a dream of reality.

His eyes opened and he looked down at me in wonder for a long second, then painfully slow, he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. When he pulled away he was grinning. Happiness radiated from him and my mouth involuntarily smiled as well. He brushed a stray hair from my face to stare into my eyes, into me, my soul.

The moment was intensified by the unbroken silence, but I couldn't handle this much so soon. Baby steps.

I looked down. "I should go. Charlie and…" I trailed off, having really nothing to say.

"Ok Bells," he smiled knowingly, seeming content.

I hadn't gotten a step from the bed when I felt a big, warm hand grab mine and pull me toward him. I thought about being annoyed, but then Jake grabbed my face and kissed me like we were parting for days. It didn't have frightening intensity but a happy intensity that was altogether new. There was no worry or uncertainty in this kiss; it was not catalyzed by danger or desperation. It was just… human. I felt a familiar flush in my face that had been absent for months and the feeling was so pleasant and unexpected, I couldn't help but laugh at the past few days that had changed everything.

I continued laughing freely, until Jake looked up petulantly, "Are you laughing at my kissing technique?!"

This set me over the edge. His face that had been stern and serious lately, was comically offended, His forehead creased and lips pouting comically. I shook my head no, fighting the silent laughter.

"Yeah, yeah." He grumbled and turned over unhappily, "Well, I'm going back to sleep. _Someone _has an annoying habit of talking when they're asleep and keeping other people awake." I saw the corner of Jake's mouth draw up in a smug smile.

The flush in my face burned even deeper, this time with embarrassment.

"What did I say?!" I exclaimed, mortified.

He turned back over to look up at me.

"Oh you know, some of your deepest darkest secrets. That's all," he shrugged nonchalantly.

My hands balled into fists at my sides, I wanted to hit him, it wouldn't even hurt him. He smiled mischievously, probably guessing my thoughts. I was mustering up a good yell to force a confession out of him when he grabbed my wrist and pulled my entire body on top of him and tightly held me there. His lips went to my neck as he trailed hungry kisses up to my face. My breath caught in surprise and pleasure. I had a pressure in my chest where all my pent up desires were trying to escape.

I tried to recall the reasons this should not be happening, I wanted to know what I said last night, our parents would probably be home soon, I wasn't ready for this… but when his teeth grazed my earlobe, the shivers shook away all those thoughts and I realized I wanted this just as much as Jake did. The realization was terrifying and exciting.

I ran my hands down Jake's neck to his chest and then stomach, feeling the contours of his body, I traced the pale crescent of skin just above his shorts. His body tensed under me and I responded instinctually by pressing my hips into his. His groan made my blood race even faster.

Jake flipped us over, so he was on top of me and I wrapped my legs around him. He lifted my shirt just slightly to kiss my stomach and then he ran his warm hands under the back of my shirt, lifting me into him while he was pressing down. The tension left me breathless and when our lips met, it was everything I wanted.

I wasn't being careful with Jake, I didn't have to, and he certainly wasn't being careful with me. I bit down lightly on his full lip, and opened my eyes to look into his,. When we made eye contact, he wasn't the only one who shuddered. I thought about how long I'd spent fighting this exact moment off, only to realize now that it was always inevitable. This is what would've always happened between Jake and I, no matter the circumstances.

I broke off our lips only to pull my body closer to his, to entwine my fingers in his hair and smell the sweet, musky scent from his neck that was better than any cologne. He exhaled, and laid me beside him, not breaking our embrace. I was still surprised at how I ached for him to be close to me. I was relieved at how easy this would be, and I couldn't help but wonder if I had been fooling myself thinking that the most I could feel for Jake would be familial love and friendship.

He nuzzled his face in my neck, a very wolfy gesture that made me smile. I felt his lips move against me neck when he whispered hoarsely, "You said you loved me."

I stopped breathing and was very still for a moment as I worried at the impression that might've given Jake, but I was the one who said it. I meant it. Why hide it from him?

He could take it however he'd like, because it was all going that direction anyway. I forced myself to breathe normally again.

"Oh." I responded quietly.

"Bells?" he said a little clearer. I could still feel his lips and I wondered if he too could hear my heart beat a little heavier.

"Hm?"

"I love you, too."

With that he looked up and gave me a brief, sweet kiss on the lips. The thought of leaving now did not appeal to me, I wanted to be with him, but Charlie would need support when he got home. I had to go.

"I really have to go," I could hear the sadness in my own voice.

"I know," he replied dreamily.

"Maybe you can come over tonight."

"Are you going to introduce me to Charlie as your official boyfriend?" he asked, a little too cheerily.

I cringed inwardly. "If it would make you happy" I hoped he could hear the reluctance in my voice.

"Yes, it would," he said with an impish grin.

"Fine."

"Honey, you're going to have to get used to it."

I wasn't disturbed by his term of endearment, it sounded natural, like he'd called me it for years. He'd probably wanted to, I realized sadly.

"Bye Jake."

"Bye Bella."

We looked at each other for another moment before I turned and walked out the door.

On the ride home I ran over in my head what I would say to Charlie, just to be prepared. I wasn't worried about his judgment. In fact he would be excited, elated even. It would be nice to have him approve of who I wanted so fully, a stark contrast to… Edward.

The name still sent off a ripple of heady discomfort, but in the afterglow of Jake it was no longer a sharp pain. If I was going to have a relationship, I needed to let go of my past as much as possible, even if that only meant desensitizing myself to it.

I had barely put eggs on the skillet when I heard the cruiser pull up to the house. Charlie trudged in, looking downcast.

"Hey Bells."

"Hi, Dad," I walked over to him and he squeezed me tightly to his chest.

"You making breakfast?"

"Yes and don't even pull the 'I'm not hungry.' You're eating."

Charlie managed a small laugh. "Wouldn't dream of it."

I beamed at him.

I felt his eyes on my back as he observed my cheery behavior.

"Something goin' on Bella?" he inquired.

"What do you mean?" I feigned innocence.

"Well… you just seem… I dunno… happier. Especially for it being so early. You're usually a little cranky." he said tactlessly.

"Well thanks," I replied with light sarcasm. "I guess I am happy," a slight smile punctuated my reply.

"Hey, is it ok if Jake's over for dinner tonight?" I asked.

"Of course, he's always welcome. I'm surprised you even asked. Is there an occasion?"

"Um.. no, not really," I shifted uncomfortably.

"Not really or no?"

"Not really, I'll tell you tonight."

Charlie grunted. He wasn't one for surprises.

* * *

I decided to make it an occasion by putting on one of the few skirts I owned. It was grey and high-waisted, made out of simple cotton it stretched perfectly over my hips. I tucked in a dark blue shirt and braided my hair messily to the side. I went out of my way to put some make-up on as well. I was fidgeting with my appearance in the mirror when I heard the doorbell ring.

"I got it!" I yelled as I bounded down the stairs, concentrating carefully so I wouldn't trip.

When I opened the door I laughed. Jake looked a little uncomfortable in a long-sleeved white button down and jeans that weren't cut off.

"Wow, I'm impressed. You actually put on a shirt." I teased

He didn't even react to my quip, instead he stared at me.

"Hello?"

"You look…. really pretty," he finally managed.

I just smiled at him. He grabbed my hand as he walked in and we went to the living room.

My dad looked up at us, then down at our entwined fingers. He raised his eyebrows.

Jake squeezed my hand in encouragement. I stumbled over my words. "Um… dad. Jake and I are sorta… well, we are, dating now. Officially."

Charlie just looked at us for a second, seeming to process what I'd said, then he all but jumped off the couch to shake Jake's hand enthusiastically.

"Good for you Jacob! It's about time." He said, grinning the whole time.

I sighed. I knew he would be happy, but really? He looked like he might choke with happiness.

"Does Billy know?"

I sighed again. Old women.

"Yes," Jake replied to my surprise, "I told him this morning. He was excited for us too."

I should've known. I could only imagine the looks I would get when the pack would find out through Jake's explicit and private thoughts. Greattt….

After that, dinner was pleasant. Charlie's mood was lifted by the news and he and Jake bantered about sports and cars. I was content to observe them, seeing a nice ritual forming. This was easy, it felt like family.

Charlie pushed himself away from the table.

"Wow, Bells. That was great. I'm stuffed."

"Yeah, well no one said thirds was a good idea," I replied.

Charlie started to gather his dish, but I spared him.

"Don't worry about it Dad. Jake and I will get it."

"You're the best, Bella."

I smiled. Charlie was easily pleased. It was one of the many things about him I'd learned to appreciate and love.

He plodded into the living room to give Jake and I some privacy and fall into a food coma. I wondered idly if that might be dangerous after three servings of my grandmother's spaghetti. Probably.

I carried an armful of plates, carefully, to the kitchen sink and started scrubbing them. I didn't realize Jake behind me until I felt hands on my hips and a warm breath tickle my neck. I thought about pushing him away, but then his lips were on the back of my neck, then behind my ear… He turned me around and pressed himself to me. He leaned down and kissed my collarbone then lower and lower until he was over my frantically beating heart.

"Jake." I gasped.

"Sh. Charlie will hear you," he looked up with a playful smile on his face.

"That was your fault!" I laughed. "Stop distracting me and help me."


End file.
